Brave

This entire week has been about me embracing that word. Brave. For those of you who know me well you know that brave is not a word to describe me. I hate roller coasters, actually most rides for that matter, which is why I love Disneyland......... super mild rides. I am always freaking out about Trevor's driving because he drives like a typical boy that thinks it's funny when girls sit in the passenger seat afraid for their lives. I am incredibly afraid of the dark and I freak myself out frequently. In fact, I remember when I was in 3rd grade I watched The Candy Man at a friends house and for months after that I couldn't shower without someone keeping watch to make sure there were no creepy ghosts lingering.
So basically any scary movie I see just makes me more scared. I guess I just don't have the ability to tell myself it is all just Hollywood. Anyway, you get the point...... I am a big chicken and as I  mentioned in my first post this has been the first week of Trevor working graves that I have spent at home alone. I have been trying my best to muster every once of bravery I can find within myself and needless to say I have survived!!! But it wasn't without it's set backs. Making sure all the doors were locked, which is usually a job I leave to Trevor in our nightly routine. Turning on every light in my house so there were no dark suspicious areas, and then leaving them on until I went to bed. Being torn between having noise or not, having the TV on was great but then while the water was running for my girls bath I was checking my back every few seconds. Dealing with my girls crying right before bedtime when they usually love bath time, probably it was a mixture of being tired and sensing Mom's fears. Lying in bed and hearing bumps and bangs and wondering if it something I should go check out. Having a hand gun near the bed that I am trying to remember how to load and then being freaked out that there is a HANDGUN under my bed. Leaving my shower light on. (Yes, I said shower light. Our bathroom has a light just for the shower. It is nice.) Not really sleeping much but desperately trying to ware myself out ...... reading books, watching movie trailers, playing games on my phone. Spending 2 of the 4 nights Trevor worked at my Mom's house. IT was a LONG week and it will definitely take some getting used to but as ridiculous as being so afraid was, I am really proud of myself for trying to be as brave as I could. Hopefully the more I practice being brave the braver I will get. Although, don't bet on me liking roller coasters or Trevor's driving anytime soon!!! :)